this is just a bad dream
by redrocketracer
Summary: Somehow she feels like her value decreased. Like she'd never be looked at as something special so she'd settle for the negative attention, even if it was a quick fix to a deeper issue. It's like trying to keep everything together with wet band aids. She's lonely. She's so alone. So she settles.
**WARNINGS** : Mentions of non con, pregnancy and sex.

* * *

It's cold, wind whips Nelly's hair in all sorts of directions. It bites at her cheeks, making them flushed and red. She pulls her jacket tighter around her frame.

Tonight she feels horribly alone. Nelly lacks companionship. She remembers moving to South Park in fourth grade from a big city and just not quite fitting in. Everything here was slowed down compared to Long Islands rushed, busy life. People here were different. Everyone knew each other. It was uncomfortable. She remembers going to the city with her father for the first time. Her fingers interlaced with his as they weave their way past people to get to their destination. They were all so private. Rushing to their life. But they all had names and faces and stories. It was just more reserved. No one would know what Cindy from across the street was up to. No one would care. Nelly remembers how the lights were so bright and you could not see a single star in the sky. She can see them clearly in South Park and she looks up at them now. Her phone rests in her hands. It finally makes a buzz and she opens it up to read the text message she received.

 _I'm here._ It reads and she looks at the corner of her street, there is Jason. Jason and Nelly weren't really friends, but he messaged her on facebook and asked her if he can pick her up. So there it is. Palms press down onto the concrete stoop and make little imprints on her. She makes her way towards Jason's car and steps in.

Jason is quiet at first, but he looks at her. Nelly pulls her seat belt across her frame and feels uncomfortable at the attention.

"What?" she questions. Jason turns away from her, focusing back in front of him.

"Nothing." it's the first time they are hanging out and it's quiet and awkward. Nelly can swear she smells alcohol but she remains silent about it. She wonders what this will lead to. She has a bit of a reputation with men. It started in elementary school when she was put in the news paper kissing a boy. It was a simple thing, innocent at the time. However, the same boy asked her on a date in her senior year and they proceeded to make out. She lost her virginity to him in the end. Something about it didn't sit well in Nelly's bones. She remembers saying she didn't want to go to home with him but being three towns over and not wanting to call her parents. She remembers them going to some kids house in West Park. She remembers saying no to him. She remembers giving up and complying. She's been a bit broken since then, and has been quite promiscuous. Somehow she feels like her value decreased. Like she'd never be looked at as something special so she'd settle for the negative attention, even if it was a quick fix to a deeper issue. It's like trying to keep everything together with wet band aids. She's lonely. She's so alone. So she settles.

"I had a little to drink." Jason admits. Nelly shifts uncomfortably at that. He's driving awfully fast and she doesn't like cars all too much.

"Ok." she says. He looks ahead and twists the radio on.

"I doubt you know any Pink Floyd." It's kind of a pretentious thing of him to say, Nelly notes. But he's right, Nelly listens to a lot of things, but Pink Floyd is not one of them.

"I've heard of them." she adds. Jason stays quiet as they exit South Park. She guesses he lives in North Park, which isn't far at all.

"My girlfriend of three years and I broke up two months ago." he admits. Nelly waits for him to continue but already feels unsettled. She's always being used. Always. She looks out her window at the scenery passing. It's mostly dark, black.

"I don't know how to do...girls anymore. So i'm sorry." he finishes. Nelly looks at him and places a hand on his knee, comforting.

"If it's any consolation I lost my virginity when I was 18 last year. I'm still new to this, too." she says. He is quiet again and they pull into a long driveway. They finally arrive at a small house. All the lights are off, Jason pushes open his door and Nelly follows after him. They go through the front door and walk the distance to where Jason points at. Nelly goes in first. She is greeted by a big fluffy husky that hops down from Jason's bed and goes up to Nelly. He stares at her with big blue eyes and walks off out of the room.

"That's the calmest dog I've ever fucking encountered."

"Bruce is well trained. He's a doll." Jason takes a seat on a computer chair in the room and Nelly examines it further. She discovers that he has a snake and recoils at it at first.

"hey, she's harmless. Just. Hold on." Nelly watches as Jason pulls her out of her cage. The snake curls around Jason's arm and he kisses her head.

"Harmless." he says. However, when he sees the look of disbelief on her face he starts again. Jason moves closer to her.

"Come on, hold your hands out." he demands. Nelly complies, extending her hands to him. He picks the snake up and moves it so it's wrapping itself around Nelly's wrists. It feels weird but it's oddly comforting. Her dark brown eyes watch as the snake curls tighter around her.

Jason disappears behind a curtained entrance and Nelly sits on his bed. He comes back out about 5 minutes later, the sound of a toilet flushing. Jason takes the snake from Nelly and puts her back in her tank. When he's done he lays down on the bed, Nelly follows after. His eyes close and Nelly lays there, cold and sleepy and wondering why she agreed to this.

"Cuddle me." Jason says, Nelly looks at him. His usually slicked back dark brown hair is messy and all over the place. His lips are pink and plump. He's a lot thinner than herself, Nelly has always been on the chubby side. She feels a but self conscious.

"do you want me to hold you, or...?" she questions. Jason lets out a scoff at that.

"I'm a big baby. So yes." so she does. They lay there in what Nelly finds to be an awkward silence. She holds him in her arms and Jason falls asleep. She listens to the sound of his snoring and wonders if this is all there will be for tonight. She's subtly grateful. She tries to fall asleep but she's freezing and Jason is tinier than her and not providing much body heat.

The snoring begins to subside and turns over so he's facing her and dark brown meets blue. She has the desire to kiss him and leans in, but he moves his face and she ends up planting one on his nose.

Nelly can feel his hand moving between them and creep underneath his pants. Before she knows it his dick is out, and Nelly suddenly feels a bit angry. She has always been explosive with her temper, and she knows how to control it better. But she can feel this turning out like everything else. She keeps it repressed though, and moves her hand up and down on Jason's dick. He's big, thick and long in her hands. Eventually her hand is replaced with her mouth and Jason buries a hand in her hair.

"Such a good girl." he praises her. Nelly looks up at him briefly, big brown eyes staring up at him and he lets out a moan.

"Tell daddy how much you want him to fuck you. Beg for it, baby."

"I want you to fuck me. Want you inside of me. Please, daddy. Please." she begs. In an instant he's flipping Nelly on her back and tugging on her pants. Nelly helps, and she's bare. He spreads her legs and Nelly realizes he's not using a condom and almost says something, but feels scared of how he'll react. He pushes in bare and Nelly lets out a gasp. He's big and it hurts a little. Jason begins thrusting and she moves with him. It hurts and isn't so pleasurable.

"You feel so good. Such a good girl." he says on top of her. She leans up, wanting to be kissed, wanting the comfort. He continues fucking her and turns his head up, looking down at her and making sure their faces aren't close enough. He looks down at her lips parted and breast moving with every movement.

He cums and pants when he completes. Nelly lays there, eyes on the ceiling.

Jason kisses Nelly's hair and she closes her eyes. She feels like crying.

Weeks pass and neither Jason or Nelly talk to each other. Nelly proceeds to live her life, going to work and coming home to her parents. It's a quiet, sad life. She tries not to think of Jason, until her breast start to feel tender and sore. Until they begin to feel fuller. Until her head begins to pound. Until she feels her tummy cramping up.

"It sounds like you could be pregnant, Nells." her only friend, Brimmy says over the phone. He lives in florida now and is quite far. They facetime every once and awhile to catch up. She stares into the screen and wants to feel throw up, feeling nauseated by the situation.

Her doctor orders a blood pregnancy test. And on the day of it she remembers how Jason refused to kiss her and cries in her car.


End file.
